Leftovers From the Bon-Ton

Maybe there's a chance

2007-08-29T03:33:03Z

With tonight's win over the Astros, the Cardinals find themselves in a place they haven't been since the beginning of the season.

The .500 mark. as well as two games out of first place in the Comedy Central behind the Chicago Cubs, who beat the fading Milwaukee Brewers tonight at Wrigley Field.

I don't like our chances against Roy Oswalt tomorrow with Kip Wells going to mound for the Cardinals, but with the way the Cardinals been playing, maybe we do have a chance to catch the Cubs.

Good news, Spiezio will be back with the team in September after his stint in rehab. Make sure you keep him in your prayers.

Tuesday's not for safe Youtube videos

2007-08-28T12:55:46Z

Would life had been different?

2007-08-25T12:46:29Z

On Thursday afternoon after I came from school, I found out that one of my friends asked a girl that I once had an interest in during my time at Southwest to marry him.

After being forced to deal the reality of that happening in the near future, I was asked by my friend why didn't I take advantage of a second chance with the girl when it was offered.

The reason why that happened was because well, I realized over time that we didn't have too much in common and much like the guy that gave me advice on the book, I like girls who like sports or better than yet, can somewhat understand the difference between a basketball and a football.

And when i decided to leave Southwest for somewhere else, possibly back to Carbondale or some school here in Memphis, I realized that there were other fish in the sea and I wanted to see what was out there.

I know that might sound a bit harsh, but sometimes the best thing in order for you to survive and stuff is to forget about what you left behind.

Many times I've asked myself had I gone out with the girl at Southwest, would I have even thought of a book on baseball and summer memories?

Probably not.

And what would have happened if Mr. Pujols had not hit that homer in Kansas City at the same time that I was milling around the concourse area of Autozone Park on May 21, 2006?

We wouldn't be talking about one of the cutest summer stories in Memphis history.

You're not at the U of M, you're at Crichton

2007-08-23T13:34:18Z

Many years ago during the Sam Wyche era in Cincinnati, some rowdy fans at old Riverfront Stadium decided during a Bengals-Seahawks game to throw beer bottles and other debris on the field in protest of some bad calls.

Once the rowdy behavior got out of hand, Sam Wyche got on the microphone and said his memorable line, "You don't live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati!!!!"

On yesterday, while I was headed to class, a girl in the hallway stopped me when she noticed my blue Memphis baseball shirt.

"You're not at the University of Memphis, you're at Crichton College," she said to me.

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes.

Two hours later as I left the library for home, I ran into the same girl again and a friend of hers and was reminded to not wear the Memphis baseball shirt again on campus.

"Remember what school you're at," she said to me.

"I know what school I'm at," I said, "but didn't you guys used to be the Cardinals?"

"We're the Comets," she said, "Ditch the shirt."

My response?

"I don't think God cares what school's shirt I wear to school."

But His mother does.

Ma'am, I believe your daughter placed a curse on me

2007-08-20T12:53:17Z

On the same day I was hired out at Costco as the new spokesperson for the Tennessee Cheesecake Company, I mentioned to the girl who hired me that I had a friend of mine who constantly calls me "Pumpkin" and humiliated me in front of my then-staff while I was at the University of Memphis a few days prior to me heading to Atlanta.

"Everytime I say something bad about her, something bad happens to me," I said to her as we left the store.

'Karma can be a bitch, you know," she said, "Whatever you do, don't badmouth the girl again."

Obviously, I haven't reached the point of avoiding that.

Three days after saying there was something wrong with her in front of her mother, my precious Zune player fell victim to my washer here at the house after I (pause for dramatic effect) did a very horrible thing in my pants on the interstate as I headed home from work.

And then on Sunday as I cleaned everything off at my work area, the already-shattered sign that I have for my demo mentioning the price fell to the floor, breaking it.

Last night, I mentioned to my therapist about what had gone in the last few days and the belief that of all people, the city's northern version of Peppermint Patty in fact placed a curse on me.

His response?

"You like her, don't you?"

My response?

When pigs fly.

A legend in smooth jazz

2007-08-20T04:15:53Z

And now for your Friday viewing pleasure

2007-08-18T03:45:38Z

First day observations

2007-08-15T12:45:57Z

Quick post before I head off to class.

Unlike Southwest and their pool players, the folks at Crichton have a ranking system for their pool players. Of course, I had no idea that a small school that encourage its students to think and grow spiritually would have such a thing as pool player ranking.
Ran into one of my friends who was at Southwest during the summer of 2005 while I was waiting in the Financial Aid office. I had also explained to him that one of our friends decided to start a rap group, which is almost like having George Bush collaborate with Young Jeezy.
I thought chickenheads didn't exist at a place like Crichton but after seeing one of my former high school classmates and an idiot in my second class, I was wrong.
One more observation, the computers at Crichton actually work and there's no fucking crumbsnatchers around to cause trouble.

That's about it for now. It's 81 degrees here in Memphis, a bit cooler than what it was when I blogged yesterday morning. More to come later tonight.

Cleared chocolate obstacle is just what the doctor ordered

2007-08-15T02:57:24Z

Since the beginning of August, many things have happened as far as the book was concerned.

The first thing that happened was that on July 18th, the incomplete manuscript was sent to my publisher through email plus a boring-assed questionaire that I had to fill out for liabilty reasons.

The second thing was that towards the end of July, the introduction was sent after a few alterations were made to the list of people I wanted to thank.

And the third thing that happened was the introduction that was done by Sabrina, Katie, and I back in April as the book came to fruition.

The only thing that hadn't happened yet was me telling the chocolate cutie or in this case, Michelle or Sharika, who is somewhere driving a cab in Montreal that the book was going to be filled with all of the adventures the four of us had during the summer of 2006 as well as what would become the hottest near-couple in the long history of Memphis professional baseball.

Which was the same thing I told Dr. Joye, the city's answer to Kim Parker, Ms. Drake, the Playboy Bunny in Carbondale, and of course, Kasi.

During lunch this afternoon as i was getting stomped in pool (more on that later), I finally explained to Michelle that the book was without a shadow of a doubt, focused on her and twin sister, the chocolate cutie, Sharika, and all of the funny moments we had during the summer of 2006.

"She's going to kill me when this book comes out," I said, "Believe me, everybody in the country is going to laugh at her as well as me for writing a book like this."

And much like what happened on June 25th of last year on my anxieties of bringing the chocolate cutie into the booth for the Fourth, she again tried to calm me down as I tried to convince her that there's a huge chance that the chocolate cutie may sue me for writing the book.

"She's not going to do that," she said, "She might think it's flattering you wrote a book about her."

Of course, that was the same thing that was told to me by my therapist Dr. Chris.

"You told them before the book came out that it was about them, so why worry?" he asked.

Good point.

Music to keep you cool

2007-08-14T12:49:56Z

With almost 2500 songs on my Zune player, I picked out a few that could keep you cool during this fucking heat wave.

"Kool" by Marion Meadows
"Summer Madness" Kool and the Gang
"Too Hot" Kool and the Gang
"Heatwave" Gregg Karukas
"Paradise" Norman Brown

That's about it for now, gotta head off to my first day of class. It's already 81 degrees as we approach the top of the hour here in Memphis. I will have a post from school on my observations from the other side of Highland Avenue.

Just to get you prepped for football season

2007-08-13T22:15:48Z

Rockstar mentality it's not

2007-08-13T14:39:26Z

When you think of the Cardinals, the first thing that comes to you mind isn't sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

It's great players, championship teams, and most importantly, the Cardinal Nation.

But with the isolated problems that have casted a shadow over the Cardinal Nation, ranging from Tony LaRussa's DUI to Scott Spiezio's entry into rehab for a substance problem, it has raised the concern of many in the Cardinal Nation and leaving us to ask ourselves this.

Are the Cardinals the rowdy boys of the National League?

From what I've read in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and Bill Dewitt, Jr., who said that the incidents this year were isolated and had no connection, it seems that to me Spiezio, LaRussa, and the late Josh Hancock made these decisions on their own.

Seriously.

I can't imagine for a second some low-level dope dealer in St. Louis County holding a gun to Josh Hancock's head making him smoke weed because he had a choice while he was on Earth to make a wise decision on what to do.

Same with Spiezio and LaRussa, they made their decisions because they wanted to, not because they had to.

All they could have done was walk away and go on with their lives.

As the Cardinals make a push to overtake the Cubs and Brewers in the National League Central, there shouldn't be another one of these isolated incidents disrupting the clubhouse.

Because if it happens again, what is now a good thing with a series win over the Dodgers thanks to Rick Ankiel's callup, everything will go to hell in a handbasket.

East Bumblefuck vs. Downtown

2007-08-12T15:28:44Z

One of my favorite bloggers, Downtown Paul, always call the suburbs of Memphis East Bumblefuck because well, it sucks like shit sometime.

And with my job being far away from the bright lights and bums of Downtown and in the shadow of FedEx's world headquarters, I ask myself every weekend that I head out that way, is working in an area that is filled with hot girls and bigger wallets every weekend better than an area with bums, corner stores, soul food, and quirky characters that make my sometime boring life a little interesting.

In the area I once worked in for three years, which was the Downtown/Uptown area, I could always head to Maxine's on North Manassas Street to fetch snacks for the people who worked in my department as well as myself.

If I was near the WIC clinic on Manassas and Galloway, there was Lane Ave. Grocery at the corner of Lane Avenue and North Manassas for corn dogs and Faygo.

Out east where I currently work, the closest thing that resembles those two places would be the gas station at Winchester and Hacks Cross Road, which is a nice-sized place but doesn't have the feel of a corner store in the Uptown area.

For soul food during my days in Uptown, there was Roxie's on North Third Street, Cozy Corner and their barbecue on North Parkway, and my personal favorite the Midtown Fish Market on Chelsea Avenue near North Thomas Street.

In East Bumblefuck, there's Southwind Fish in the same shopping center I work in, a place that I ate at on the same day I was hired at my job. It's a great atmosphere, but the scene of all these FedEx bigwigs coming in to eat instead of Joe Public doesn't sit well with me. I like to eat somewhere where it's not too corporate and not too homey.

As far as bums go, the Uptown area was filled with them parading up and down North Manassas Street. In fact, I remembered an incident during the summer of 2005 in which one of the bums down on Manassas near Keel Avenue flagged someone down from MLGW. Of course as I look at it now, I don't think they were talking about their light bill.

East Bumblefuck?

No bums whatsoever. I don't even think that many bums would consider going that far out to panhandle. Probably the closest thing I've had to deal with as far as bums are concerned out there is the idiot guy I ran into the same day I was hired at my current job at Starbucks on Winchester. Problem is, the guy had a house out there.

During the three years I worked at Porter-Leath, there was no shortage of characters that made my workday a bit interesting as well as people around the Uptown area that made working in the area fun and exciting.

Out east, I have yet to find anything like that.

Maybe one day it'll come.

Pics from last night's game

2007-08-12T05:05:31Z

A few of the Redhots and a member of the Zone Patrol. They wanted me to get in the picture, but I sometime look stupid in pictures, so I let them have all the fun.

Redbirds pitchers kicking it during the eighth inning of last night's game. Why wasn't anyone up and pitching?

Behind the foul pole in left field. Omaha was at bat when I took this picture.

48 hours to go

2007-08-11T14:01:30Z

After two years of drama and drunk professors, in two days I will begin a new journey at Crichton College as an Urban Studies major.

The bad thing about the new journey I'm headed on is the fact that the people I had close relationships with at the corner of South Manassas and Union won't be part of the brand-new journey that I'm headed on, mainly because a few of them have not too much to go in their requirements for an Associate's Degree.

And then there are some of my friends who decided that the corner of South Manassas and Union didn't fit into their plans as far as their future was concerned, so they bolted for some other place to further their education like myself.

Come Monday (or Tuesday, when I'll offically start), the hijinks of my friends and I at Southwest will be nothing more than a fading memory.

But anyway, I'll have another blog entry up later today after I get off work. This is the one thing I hate about my job, the long commute.

Third wheel is not a good place to be

2007-08-11T04:52:01Z

As a teenager, I used to feed my brain with mindless dating shows like "The 5th Wheel" and "Blind Date", shows that today have no value and message behind it.

Except if you want to find somebody, you don't need national television to hook you up, you only need one thing, your own confidence.

Tonight as I made my return to Autozone Park, my first visit there since June 3rd a day after I found the chocolate cutie on a night when my own date went completely haywire, I found out what it meant to be the third wheel.

When I came to the ballpark after coming home for a quick shower and a bite to eat, I had no idea that I would be the third or fourth wheel.

As the game ended, one of my church members waved bye to me as I looked out at the field as the Redbirds again came up short against the Omaha Royals.

"We're on a date," one of the guys said to me, which came as a shock to me as I manuevered my way through the crowd that was heading towards the exits.

To me, I had no idea that they were on a date because from what I was told, it was a singles event and I guessed it would be a lot of the singles attending the event.

But I guess I was wrong.

I'm the fuck outta here

2007-08-10T14:39:42Z

25 Memorable Moments in Baseball since 1984 (25-20)

2007-08-09T21:29:05Z

So much has happened in baseball since I entered the world on October 25, 1984.

End of curses, historic records falling, pennant races, dramatic homers, and so much more has filled the annals of baseball since that October day in 1984 when Ronnie and Joyce Hancock welcomed a healthy baby boy who would become one of the city's most dangerous bloggers as well as a senior writer for a successful sports blog.

This will be part one of a series that will run until Sept. 1st about my favorite moments as a baseball fan, starting with numbers 25-20.

25. "Sammy Sosa Does Milwaukee" (2002 All-Star Home Run Derby): Before the steroids shit started and Sosa became an asshole in the eyes of many Cub fans, Sosa was the happy-go-lucky slugger who had the hop and the smile to make a little dough for ad agencies.

And in the All-Star Home Run Derby, Sosa would hit a towering drive that cleared everything at Miller Park, exiting out of the stadium and into the hands of a Cubs fan who thought that Miller Park was Waveland Avenue. Too bad Sosa didn't win the Derby.

24. "Houston, You Have a Problem" (Game 2, 2005 World Series): Only a week after Brad Lidge got burned by Albert Pujols, a guy by the name of Scott Podsednik, who didn't even hit a fucking homer during the regular season, hits a game-winning shot in the ninth inning to give the White Sox the win, closing it out four days later for their first world championship in 88 years.

23. "J-Rod's Moon Shot" (August 13, 2006): I was acutally in the booth for this game as John Rodriguez hit a towering blast that sailed over everything in right field and onto South Fourth Street. To this very day, I wonder if that ball ever landed.

22. "Grand Slam Single" (1999 NLCS): Although I don't have that much rooting interest in the Braves or the Mets, Robin Ventura's supposed grand slam was something I would never forget as a fan. I just wished that Todd Pratt and Mike Piazza could have saved their celebration for home plate.

21. "The Longest Homerun in Whitehaven History" (August 12, 2003): In the final days of my only year as a resident of the Whitehaven community, I wanted to leave the area with a bang by hitting a moon shot to left field into the Memphis night onto a patio on an apartment complex across the street from our makeshift field. To this day, no one where it exactly landed.

20. "Mr. Pujols, Meet Miss Candy" (May 21, 2006): On the same day that Albert Pujols homered against the Kansas City Royals, I along with the chocolate cutie as well as Melissa and Sharika got in a picture together prior to me heading up to the broadcast booth.

That's it for now. I'm inside, which is a good thing because it's 700 degrees outside and it's going to be even hotter tomorrow. Thankfully I work inside, not outside.

For every door that closes, another one opens

2007-08-09T13:55:06Z

After almost a year of controversy, blogs, and so much more, I finally decided to leave the Memphis Church for another church home last night after the weekly Midweek because frankly, readers, I was getting tired of all the mess.

When I came to this church, I thought for sure that this church would be completely different from the other churches I've attended in the past, including the church I called home for 17 years before moving to Whitehaven for my senior year of high school.

But I was wrong.

What I thought was a good thing for me spiritually was more of a clash of two different schools of thought.

No lie, I had some great times in the church, driving to Atlanta in a driving rain with a few friends, risking life and limb in a volleyball game, and watching the Pistons beat the Grizzlies, times I will never forget.

But lost in the shuffle of those great times, was the rift between myself and one of the church members, who pretty much said to me on Sunday that if I was going to continue to be myself, which I have been for 23 years, then I need to go.

Which to me was like saying , we love you, but if you want to be yourself, we don't want you here.

If you're a Christian or in this case, my friend, you're going to accept me for who I am and try to understand me.

And after a year, it's clear that they didn't want me there in the first place.

I know that outside this church, it's a great big world that God wants us to experience while we're on Earth, places to go, people to meet and enter in our lives, and so much more.

I just hope one day some of the people there will understand that.

Elvis Presley:1935-2007

2007-08-08T18:01:26Z

Unless you're mentally retarded or just plain out a complete dumbfuck, you know that Elvis Aaron Presley died on August 16, 1977 at the age of 42.

Not 2007.

But according to this week's Memphis Flyer, which I picked up this week at the Cossitt Library in Downtown Memphis, which is where I'm blogging from after starting my shopping for school supplies a block over at Family Dollar on Main Street, the King of Rock and Roll died on Monday at the Circle G Ranch in Horn Lake, Mississippi of cardiac arrest at the age of 72.

Really?

Actually, the music writers at the Flyer, Chris Herrington (who lives near me) and Greg Akers wrote a very thought-provoking piece on what would have happened Presley had not died on August 16, 1977.

The article brought up wild ideas of Graceland turning into a Cadillac dealership owned by Elvis' best friend George Klein, a failed resturaunt chain known for making Elvis' famous peanut butter & banana sandwiches, a reopened Libertyland, and best of all, a pro team playing in a brand-new football stadium on the grounds of a renovated Fairgrounds.

Wild huh?

Presley's girlfriend at the time of his death, Ginger Alden, would go on and have a modest career in acting with roles in "L.A. Law" and "Knotts Landing" plus give birth to his son, Jesse Vernon Presley in 1979, who became an accomplished actor in his own right with a role on "The O.C." and face drug problems of his own.

And Presley himself would perform at Bill Clinton's first inagural ball in 1992, record new material as well as appear in the cult classic "Kill Bill" as an aging martial arts master thanks in part to director Quentin Tarntino's fascination with the King.

What amazes me about all of this is that for one, this city hasn't been the same since he died 30 years ago. We've elected a black mayor, turned into the murder captial of the country, and landed a pro basketball team but still is regarded by many outsiders as a backwater town.

To me had he lived and survived all the drug abuse, I believe wholeheartedly the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would have been here as well as major professional teams prior to 2001, and God knows what else.

But I know one thing though.

I still wouldn't be a fan of his damned music.

Maybe the newer material, which would have been like a cross between Johnny Cash and Ryan Adams, but certainly not the older shit, too shitty for me.

Is this the reason why the Knicks suck?

2007-08-08T05:24:34Z

During much of my childhood, the New York Knicks along with the Chicago Bulls made the NBA Playoffs worth watching because for one, you knew when those teams went at it in a seven-game series, you were going to get your money's worth.

I vividly remember where I was when Patrick Ewing made an impossible three to send the Knicks to the NBA Finals, at my house with my grandmother, drinking a Capri Sun Fruit Punch in the sweltering Memphis heat.

Five years later, I would witness another clutch performance in the NBA Playoffs by the Knicks as Larry Johnson hit a three that literally brought down the house in the 1999 Eastern Conference Finals against the Indiana Pacers, who was at the time, poised to become the new dynasty in the Eastern Conference with players like Dale Davis, Rik Smits, and a still-pesky Reggie Miller.

Almost a decade later, the Knicks have fallen by the wayside due in part to poor management as well as the one thing that many fans of lousy teams go see if the Grizzlies/Clippers/Sonics/Knicks get blown out at home by the Suns/Spurs/Mavericks/Pistons.

The dance team.

Tuesday afternoon at my friend's apartment near the University of Memphis, I flipped through the latest edition of ESPN Magazine and looked at sports' dream jobs, jobs that we college kids could get if we study hard and play less like our mommies and daddies tell us to do while we're in school.

Lost in the shuffle of doing paint jobs for NASCAR teams and public relations for an NBA team was every blue-blooded American boy's dream.

Travel with the dance team, which in this case, was the New York Knicks City Dancers, which was something that came into play a few years back by the Knicks' public relations department for entertainment and visibilty in the New York City area.

And something that may have helped in some way, put a stop to the Knicks' success and turn a once-proud franchise into a laughingstock because of their dingback leader of a coach, one Isiah Thomas, who probably couldn't lead a pack of dogs sledding through the Alaska cold, has run the organization into the ground without any chance to defend itself.

For 60 years, the Knicks' fellow charter member, the Boston Celtics, didn't even think of putting a dance team on the court because Red Auerbach didn't want people to be distracted from the game on the court.

Day after Red dies, the Celtics' dance team make their debut and dances their way through one of the worst seasons in NBA history.

I guess they didn't pay attention to the Knicks' blueprint for dancing with disaster.